Monday, May 11, 2009

The Big Blow Off

It was fun while it lasted. Hunter coming to my class. I was so proud of her. Working and working out! I knew it was coming to an end the other day when she called me from the studio.
"I love Brad," she said. "He and his girlfriend just broke up. I think he's going to like me too."
"Fantastic. Isn't he like 12?" I ."said, somewhat snarkily.
"No! He's 32 and I think I love him." 
"Oh dear God, I should have seen that coming a mile away." I said.

Brad is another teacher in the studio I work in. He and I trained together one time. He is adorable but I never considered him "datable" for my single friends. Just didn't occur to me...

"Oh and I helped him change his status on facebook." she said.
"Oh, well then it's official, facebook status is like Gods word. Why did they break up anway?"
"You're never going to believe this," Hunter said, "but he said he was acting like such a bitch cause she never had time for him."
"Hunter! Aren't we sick of men that act like bitches! Seriously!"
" I know but he's so cute. " she said.
"Yeah, cute like a newborn chick."

A couple days later I get a phone call. "Are you coming down to practice here this morning?" she asks me.
"No. I'm going to my gym, why, who's teaching?" at this point I had pushed the whole Brad thing out of my head.
"Brad," she said.
"Have fun Hooker."

Later that afternoon. 
Phone rings.
"Yes?" I say.
"I think we're in love," she says.
"Is that so? That was quick. He must have been impressed with your moves."
"Uh, no. I'm pretty sure he wants me though because he kept touching me the whole time and at the end he gave me a very seductive foot rub." she literally giggled. Hunter giggled. I threw up a tiny bit in my mouth. 
"Dude, I'm not sure he's of legal age. Careful."
"Shut up." 
"Well great. I'm glad you've made a love connection at work. That's very PC these days," I say.
"And you know what else? The whole time I kept doing things wrong so he would adjust me and put his hands on me." she said.
"That sounds fabulous Stalker."
"I can't come to your class Wednesday Sarah, I'm going to Brad's instead." 
"Fuck you."


  1. Dear Sarah,

    I'm not desperate enough to have your hands all over me thanks!! That's why I nailed all your stupid human tricks the other day!!
    I was just making little Brad work for his money yesterday. I felt bad for him being dumped and all...
    FYI- There's nothing wrong with a good old fashion seductive foot rub from your teacher!
    "Screw you Sarah."

  2. Oh, what a tangled web we Weave.