Friday, May 8, 2009

Dear Hunter, Letter 2

  You'll see this when you go home. Hi there. How ya feeling Champ? You all ready to come back watch baseball games with me all day? No? Instead you say, you are going to go to McDonalds and go home to Syd and Vickie? Okay, cool. Maybe Syd can find you a boyfriend today. I liked the other day when she asked the gardner if he was married. That was great fun. Especially when he said that he was married and she said, "Oh, okay, I didn't know if you wanted my daughter or not. Then she pointed to you and you were all sweaty and gross from taking my class, which I meant to thank you that you only gave me the finger once the whole time. I was proud of you. You little exerciser. Who saw that coming? Not me.

 So listen, sorry I made you sleep on the floor but it's enough sharing a bed with Mickey. Sorry I made you get out of my car when you lit up that bowl, but we all know I don't like the smell of that very stinky weed. I can't help it. It's an old scar. It's taking some time to heal. Sorry I had to pick your ass up at Gary's bar when I told you not to go in the first place. Sorry we haven't found a replacement Bob yet but I think we're fine on our own for a while. Sorry I parked illegally again. Okay, I'm really not sorry for that.

Can you wake up and tell me a story so I can fall asleep? No? Selfish bitch. 
Love you Man. Anyway. 

P.S. I hid your keys. Did you find them? I am so tempted to go out and "surprise" you like you did me when you were annoyed with me for something stupid and you piled all that shit in my car so when I opened the back I wouldn't be able to get to the kids baseball stuff. That was good. You're a clever little Minx aren't ya?
I would really like to go put something smelly in your car so when you have to drive home feeling not 100% tomorrow you will have a bad smell the whole time. I just can't think of what to put in there. I wish I had a rotten egg or some stinky cheese lying around. If it weren't 12.45am and I wasn't already in my pajamas I would go out and get something. I'm a bad sleeper. I should take a trip to Turkey. I hate to waste travel time though, unless it's an emergency. 

Now I'm just rambling. Ramble on Rose.


  1. DearSarah,

    Wake up!!

    "Sorry...blah..sorry..blah blah blaaahhh fucking blah!".

    My turn now.

    "Sorry Sarah", while you THOUGHT I was in a Pomegranite Martini indused coma, (and you on your "Time Travels" to Turkey)... I was actually puffing away on your estranged husbands BONG, gently and lovingly blowing every stinky hit in your face!

    So very, very sorry!
    Not really.

    I love you man!

  2. So, are you guys in a fight? Inside your head? Can't you just kiss and make up? And run off to Turkey together?

  3. Just teasing. She really did pile a whole bunch of stuff in my car just to annoy me though. I'm still thinking of the retaliation. :)

  4. Sorry, I don't want to kiss you Sarah. But I will run off to the Carribean with you.
    Have you checked that frig in the garage? I think something died in there?

    I love you man!