Sunday, April 19, 2009

Battlestar Galactica

The Space ship graduated to a Space Shuttle Enterprise. It was all sorts of whacked out. You're not even going to believe it, it's true. 
I was starving. She wants to take me to one of her fancy bars after last nights debaucle with the lesbian chick and the dirty boy. I'm Earthy, she's showered and used 15 different hair products and smelly stuff. I used Sandlewood and Pathchouli, I only mention so you'll know that she's actually from Outer Space. 
We're driving down a very narrow,  I think historical road to get to the fancy place. It had a fancy parking lot right next to it to park your fancy space shuttle and this is how it went down.
We approached the parking lot and a giant sign said, LOT FULL. Sarah, with a pissed off voice says, "It's not full." She drove past anyway. Then stopped in the middle of the road, cause she can and says, "NO! I know there's a spot there!" 
Reader, you might want to stop here cause it's fucking horrifying from here on out. Consider yourself warned. 

And she says, "Seriously, there is a space there!"
She then beckons a worker with a queen like wave. He wasn't close to us. He was coming from some kind of break. She demands of him, "You work here right? The lot says full, I know it's not, is it okay if I back the wrong way?"
"Yes, whatever." the kid says. Cause she's blond and she can do this. Fuck her. 

We're in gridlock traffic in the nicest day of the new year. We've been cooped up for months. This town is swarming with people. There is no room to move. I can't believe what happened next. She turns around and actually asks the car behind us to move with some sort of kooky hand signal that only blonds  do. The other driver was clueless, somehow they moved though. She did a ten point turn. It took hours (She's exaggerating, it took like 45 seconds). I was crying and cringing and covering my face. She stopped both lanes of traffic and moved one lane through the red light. I was mortified to the point of tears. 

Hey guess what? We got in, got a killer spot and I scored us two seats at the bar when there was a 45 minute wait. So bitch if you must Hunter, cause you did all fuckin' day long, but you know you had fun. So suck it. I love you Man.


  1. Gawd Damn!!

    I need a "Sara".

  2. Thank You!

    I am totally under appreciated!

  3. Hmm...

    I have been working a business plan to lend her out.

    She's good for some things I guess. And you know, that dye isn't going to pay for itself.