Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Universal Sign

So we put on our final show at this  stupid  bar that we aren't going back to. Not because of anything we did, because it's stupid. It was a gorgeous night. We could have gone anywhere. For some reason that amused us at the time and  has to do with role playing and a break up with Hunter's stalker we thought we'd give it one last go. 

We bellied up to the bar. Hunter was all jumpy and hugging people and talking to the dirty boy that everyone likes. She thinks he's hot. I think he smells bad. She was warned not to go near him because the Lesbian looking girl boy she hadn't seen in twenty years laid claim to him.
In an effort to get Hunter away from the town hooker guy Anne (LLGB) introduced her to  a Sour Patch Lady named Monique. Miss High Maintenance Monique was bitchen' about everything. Ann grumbles something at Hunter with her pointer finger going from the up position to the down position and she was saying "Monique's boyfriend grumble something grumble bullshit blah blah grumble."
 A innocent look of concern and compassion crossed Hunter's face as she blurted out, "I'm so sorry. I hear that's happening to a lot of guys."
"What are you talking about?" demanded Sour Girl.
"Erectile dysfunction. Isn't that what's wrong with your boyfriend.? I think there is a pill for that."
"Why are you saying that? What's wrong with you?" Sour Girl says.
"Well, that's what Anne said." Hunter said, now confused. 
I am all out howling at this p0int with laughter. 
"No I didn't!" Anne said. "I said her boyfriend owned this bar."
"Oh," Hunter said, "Why is she making the universal sign for can't get it up then?"
"Why would we even be talking about that?" Monique demands.
"I don't know, I didn't understand why Anne was telling me that your boyfriends penis falls down. I'm sorry Pantera was blaring on the jukebox and I couldn't really hear what she was saying. That's where my mind went. Are we done now?"
Monique turns on her pointy little heel and jumped on her witch stick. Thank God for that witch stick because judging by her reaction we think we might be on to something.

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