Thursday, April 30, 2009

Work Day Two

So I call Hunter to see what time she is going to work tonight cause coincidentally I work too. This is delightful for me to see her shiney face when I walk through the door. 
"Huhho." she answers.
"Are you okay?"
"I think I have swine flu."
"Oh for Godsake. That's stupid."
"No. Everything hurts. I feel awful. I have vertigo. I've had it for two days AND I was at the airport last night." Hunter adds.
"You picked up your Mom! You didn't rub your nose in a baby that flew in from Mexico!"
"I am sick. I don't know how I'm going to do this  for the next four hours."
  Let's keep in mind, that's what the job basically involves, sitting and checking people into classes. Once the mad rush of the 5 people go in the class she plays on the computer. She's not digging for coal or sewing in a sweat shop. She is sitting in one of the cushiest fitness studios in the area and playing Facebook!
I relent though. It's better to appease. "What can I do for you? Can I bring you something? Do you want some Dayquil? Some tea?" I ask as sweetly as I can muster.
"How about some Tylenol PM? I'm thinking I should take that." 
"You can't take Tylenol PM before you have to work! That's just stupid."

I get to work about 45 minutes later. She's whistling and dancing around like Lily Tomlin dressed as Snow White in her dream sequence in the movie 9 to 5. 
"Are you fine now?" I ask.
"Ever since I took those Tylenol PM's accidentally on purpose I feel much better." she answers.
Whatever... it is Hunter after all. 

I am driving home and she calls me. Instead of speaking to me I hear her say, "Hi Jordan." in flirty voice she puts on for anyone she talks to over the age of 17. 
"Hold on." she says to me. "I have to get cigarettes."
"I'll have the American something or other, cause I'm quitting smoking tomorrow," she says. 
I hear Jordan laugh in the background.
"Don't laugh, I know I'm buying cigarettes but did you know I work in a fitness studio now? That's right, I'm a fitness instructor. Don't forget the matches Jordan, I need matches. These cigarettes aren't going to light themselves." 


  1. In Hunter's defense, Tylenol PM, not unlike Duct Tape, will fix anything.

    Anything, that is, except productivity. Tylenol PM fucks productivity up in the worst way ever. It's like the anti-catalyst.

    Say, that reminds me.....I'm out of Smokes.

  2. Funny. Now that she doesn't have to work she seems remarkably healed today.

    She's saying it's from the Neti Pot.

    Neti Pot, Pot of stew, Pot of Gold, MaryJawanna. You say potato...

    Hunter says "Love you Man."