Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Jesus Hunter!

I'm sorry. I'm in the middle of a bizarre separation. Don't fuck it up anymore than it already is.

Bring Bring...
"Hello." I say.
"I'm in trouble. I ran over something. My car won't go."
"Seriously? Where are You?" I say, slightly annoyed.
"On that 3 road, real close to your house. Can you come get me?"
"Can't you just make it home? I think you're fine. Just drive."
"I'm on the rim. It's making a crunching noise. You need to get out of bed and come get me."
"God damn't. He's home now. Seriously?  Hold on! I'll be right there."

Go in. Tell him I'm leaving to pick her up. She ran over something. He insists on going and getting her himself, it's pouring rain outside. My husband, although estranged is a really good guy. 

I call her back.
"Act normal! You couldn't have eaten something today?" I demand. "Don't get me in trouble."
"I promise. I tried to call Triple A, blah blah fucking  blah."
"Listen to me carefully. Try your best not to speak. No words of wisdom. None of your manic bullshit. Just shut up and let him drive."
"I promise."

Twenty minutes click by, in which time I have to have a pseudo "sex talk" with my eleven year old daughter. Nothing like the icing on the top of the proverbial cake. 

They get home. 
Hunter hops into bed with me. 
Husband goes in bathroom. 
Whispering, loud not really whispering at all, "I told him he should find a girlfriend."

Fucking great. 

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